Indecision

“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.”  

     That struck a chord in my chest.  I am usually the type of person who is really indecisive.  Give me the choice in any situation and I’ll be torn between the crossroads.  Imagine my dilemma in this time of my life when decisions are at every corner!  When I am torn between choices, it is usually because I want to make sure I make the best choice, right?  But really, I think it is because I am afraid.  The fear of making decisions: it is not too uncommon actually.  I don’t want to choose wrong and screw everything up.  Then the consequences would obviously be on my head for my stupidity.  My reputation is at risk, people!  Oh, what a terrifying thought... sound familiar?

     I hear a lot of good people say, “Everything I do is for others.”  I could say I am one of those people to the bone, but as I think about the reasons I do things and make decisions, I have realized even in that, I am still being very self-centered.  When I do things to make others happy or for their benefit, I am really just trying to win their approval and acceptance, or out of fear of rejection.  Once again, it is about how I look like, and then all I am left with is an unending goal of trying to please others and not doing what I really want to do for the right reasons.

     However, that could lead to another condition that is not much better off.  “I will do whatever makes me happy.”  Tempting, isn’t it?  In its blunt declaration of self-fulfillment, it has become a widely accepted philosophy which only leads its followers further from the truth.  I myself have fallen prey to its seduction.  Who cares what those judgmental people want or think anyway, when it’s my life?  Right, it doesn’t matter what other people think… but my reason for living to be based upon what makes me happy, may not leave me as fulfilled as you may think.  Yes, see the problem is that most of us look to the wrong things to make us happy or complete in life, which most likely only leads to trouble, hurt or failure.  It is a short-sighted happiness that we look to that is only directed towards ourselves. 

     So what should I live for, then?  When I am at the crossroads of doing something for others or for myself, where is the line between the two?  The answer depends on where I want to end up I have realized.  What I value in the end— when my life is over, what will I look back on and say was worth it?  The destination is only measured by the journey taken to get there.  Me having a Christian perspective, I always believed that God should have first place in my life.  So when I make decisions, it should be with his heart and mindset.  But for those of you who may disagree, I think what’s important is to stay true to yourself.  What you believe; what you value… and make your decisions accordingly.  So I all I have to say is, decide make the most of your life and your decisions.

     Embrace your freedom to create your destiny.  Embrace your values to be set as your foundation.  And embrace your decisions with no regret.

~Alyxandra Sarik