Summer Blues & New Journeys

     Stacked atop my coffee table is a pile of mostly unread New Yorker magazines and half-read books, each one placed over the last week's edition until a winter's worth of reading was pushed into summer. I canceled my subscription and promised myself to begin anew and rededicate my time to the things that I enjoy. Now that I've graduated college I should have an unrestrained gem of time in the palm of my hand.

     Amidst applying for jobs, I find myself a poor steward of time. I often get the summer blues and long bouts of boredom. I neglect activities, seclude myself, and complain to (or about) my husband. I am not a nice person in the summer. It's a season we Midwesterners wait for all year, to escape the cold and stretch out our cocooned limbs. However, the aversion to being trapped, or a complex of escapism, seems to have become a recurring aspect in my life. It's something I think most writers can relate to; however I've let it mold me into someone I don't want to be.

     I have given up writing fiction for the time being, instead dedicating my efforts to poetry and creative nonfiction. Perhaps one day I will return to fiction, but I'll admit I always felt a little misplaced in the genre, or perhaps awkwardly fitted. However, nonfiction has always felt daunting to me. I am not a thoroughly opinionated person, or someone who lives an extraordinary life. I like the idea of journalism and writing about other people's experiences, but interviewing people does give me an enormous case of anxiety though I have done it on a number of occasions.

     Lately, I have been working on poetic memoir project which centers on my experience as the daughter of a Cambodian refugee. I had always expected to one-day write a book about my father's life, but never felt ready for the task. I think I am ready. I hope so anyway. I am excited to begin this journey, this new chapter of my life that doesn't use writing as an escape but as exploration.  Take this as an invitation, if you so choose, to join me on my exploratory journey. I intend to post updates every once in awhile.

~Alyxandra Sarik

Image by Ravi Kant