20 and Marrried
Once again, its been forever since I've last posted. I promise that one day I will get this blogging thing down. One day... But anyway, its time for a life update. I am now 20 and happily married. Going to be starting college this coming fall after two years of education absence. Super excited to get that creative writing degree. I've also started a new novel that I believe I'll actually finish this time. Its set in a fantasy world where dragons have come alive again and my main character is a vengeful assassin who is out to kill the people responsible for murdering her kin. Its basically a mash up of a murder mystery and fantasy. We'll see how that goes.
Anyway, I should probably mention what it is like being married at such a young age. I was 19 when it happened, not too long ago in September. My husband and I live all alone in our apartment, we both work full time jobs, and in our free time we cook together, clean together, watch our tv shows on Netflix, and maybe play a game or two of league. Other than that, he draws a lot on his fancy big computer, and I try to hunker down and write my novel on my much smaller laptop. I can honestly say I'm quite content with my new life. Every once in a while we get out and see other human beings. Not that I need much social interaction anyhow.
So why get married so young? You might ask. Well, I can honestly say it wasn't because I was pregnant. No pregnancies going on here... hopefully not for awhile. But that seems to be the general reason why premature marriages happen these days. But believe me, I've heard all the doubtful questions and advice that pertain to young marriages. "Why the rush? "You should finish college first." "People who marry young tend to divorce more." "You should live and experience life and maybe a few more partners first." "You should wait until your life is more financially stable." So on and so on.... I understand that these are viable concerns, but I feel that most of these reasons are just excuses to not make that lifelong commitment. And why should people make that commitment? All too often do we see people who pay the price for having trusted the wrong person. Many times, it is young naivety, which is why it is advisable to wait until wisdom comes with age and experience. However, another thing comes with age and experience, more heartbreaks and distrust of people. Something that can make having a relationship with someone more difficult, even if that person is trustworthy and kind. I think that is the main reason why God designed marriage for one man and one woman, and why sex before marriage and divorce is discouraged. It isn't to lay unnecessary and cruel rules on us and have a reason to call us sinners. It's to protect our hearts. Is it really worth it to date a bunch of people and become emotionally attached to them, when we know in the end we wouldn't make a lifelong commitment with them? It is really easy to fall in love with the wrong person and convince ourselves that we can make it work or have fun with it for the time being. Yet it always ends up the same, another regret or piece of our heart wounded.
So in retrospect do I wish that I had more life experience or dated more guys? Not at all. I knew all along in the time that we were dating that he was the one. I didn't feel that we were rushing things. Somehow, it just felt so natural to me the transition to becoming a wife. I don't know how. It just always felt right, and I knew I was ready to make that commitment and be able to make it work. I can't say that getting married young is the best thing for everyone, nor can I give anyone advice how to make their relationships work. Maybe in 50 years when I am considered a more credible adviser in the matter, I can try. For now all I can say is that if you feel in your heart you must do something, don't let other people tell you that you can't. Of course, listen to what they have to say, be aware of what can go wrong, and be truthful with yourself if you can handle traveling the road less traveled. After all, its a scary and perilous world.
~Alyxandra Sarik
Anyway, I should probably mention what it is like being married at such a young age. I was 19 when it happened, not too long ago in September. My husband and I live all alone in our apartment, we both work full time jobs, and in our free time we cook together, clean together, watch our tv shows on Netflix, and maybe play a game or two of league. Other than that, he draws a lot on his fancy big computer, and I try to hunker down and write my novel on my much smaller laptop. I can honestly say I'm quite content with my new life. Every once in a while we get out and see other human beings. Not that I need much social interaction anyhow.
So why get married so young? You might ask. Well, I can honestly say it wasn't because I was pregnant. No pregnancies going on here... hopefully not for awhile. But that seems to be the general reason why premature marriages happen these days. But believe me, I've heard all the doubtful questions and advice that pertain to young marriages. "Why the rush? "You should finish college first." "People who marry young tend to divorce more." "You should live and experience life and maybe a few more partners first." "You should wait until your life is more financially stable." So on and so on.... I understand that these are viable concerns, but I feel that most of these reasons are just excuses to not make that lifelong commitment. And why should people make that commitment? All too often do we see people who pay the price for having trusted the wrong person. Many times, it is young naivety, which is why it is advisable to wait until wisdom comes with age and experience. However, another thing comes with age and experience, more heartbreaks and distrust of people. Something that can make having a relationship with someone more difficult, even if that person is trustworthy and kind. I think that is the main reason why God designed marriage for one man and one woman, and why sex before marriage and divorce is discouraged. It isn't to lay unnecessary and cruel rules on us and have a reason to call us sinners. It's to protect our hearts. Is it really worth it to date a bunch of people and become emotionally attached to them, when we know in the end we wouldn't make a lifelong commitment with them? It is really easy to fall in love with the wrong person and convince ourselves that we can make it work or have fun with it for the time being. Yet it always ends up the same, another regret or piece of our heart wounded.
So in retrospect do I wish that I had more life experience or dated more guys? Not at all. I knew all along in the time that we were dating that he was the one. I didn't feel that we were rushing things. Somehow, it just felt so natural to me the transition to becoming a wife. I don't know how. It just always felt right, and I knew I was ready to make that commitment and be able to make it work. I can't say that getting married young is the best thing for everyone, nor can I give anyone advice how to make their relationships work. Maybe in 50 years when I am considered a more credible adviser in the matter, I can try. For now all I can say is that if you feel in your heart you must do something, don't let other people tell you that you can't. Of course, listen to what they have to say, be aware of what can go wrong, and be truthful with yourself if you can handle traveling the road less traveled. After all, its a scary and perilous world.
~Alyxandra Sarik
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