Alyxandra Sarik

      Once again, its been forever since I've last posted.  I promise that one day I will get this blogging thing down.  One day...  But anyway, its time for a life update.  I am now 20 and happily married.  Going to be starting college this coming fall after two years of education absence.  Super excited to get that creative writing degree.  I've also started a new novel that I believe I'll actually finish this time.  Its set in a fantasy world where dragons have come alive again and my main character is a vengeful assassin who is out to kill the people responsible for murdering her kin.  Its basically a mash up of a murder mystery and fantasy.  We'll see how that goes.      Anyway, I should probably mention what it is like being married at such a young age.  I was 19 when it happened, not too long ago in September.  My husband and I live all alone in our apartment, we both work full time jobs, ...

     Welcome to the rambles of my philosophical ponderings.  I am delighted you have found your way to my corner of the universe yet again!  So recently I have engaged myself in the gruesome task of employment. Twelve long hours do I sacrifice to the promise of money.  Heinous, if I do say so myself.  Nonetheless in this reality it is deemed quite necessary if one were to afford a decent livelihood.  It is the American dream to indebt ourselves to universities, cars, houses, etc.  If you dare have no want for such things, beware of judgmental gawking and reproving jests. But how could you not?  They provide comfort and a sense of security.  A safe environment for present or future offspring.  This is how the world works.  You reap what you sow. But seriously, should we not have any other reason?  Is security that important where we are willing to give up everything to achieve it?  Our time.  Prerequisite am...

Water Walker (The Outlaw Chronicles #2) by Ted Dekker My rating: 5 of 5 stars Reading Water Walker had a very personal impact on me. It was like reading my own life reflected on the pages of a book because I could really relate to the story in many ways. Having faced trials with my own mother regarding obedience, spirituality and sheltering, Dekker really hit a personal chord for me. But it was how he wrapped up the story which made it so beautiful. As I was reading it, I wondered why was he portraying Christianity as a manipulative, self-righteous, and mindless lunacy. I know that many Christians can be like that, but where can the line be drawn for holiness and surrender to God and blind madness? But then I realized, the purpose of the story isn't to dismiss following after God, but to show the difference between the two. I love the message of the story, to believe in God is to trust Him, and because you trust Him you have the power to do anything. That is true ...

“I will dance and resist and dance and persist and dance. This heartbeat is louder than death.” ~ Suheir Hammad Where are you going?   My thoughts asked.  The familiar apartment front door, which had always greeted me so warmly in times past, now stood before me.  Its closed doors loomed over me like a haunting death sentence.  I shivered as my feet stood implanted onto the asphalt street like stone.  Thunder exploded in the overcast skies.  There was going to be a thunderstorm tonight.  I hated thunderstorms.  They unnerved me.   Where was I going?  I was going to hell that’s where.  Which was why I shouldn’t be here.   Here wasn’t a place a person like me should be.  I pulled tighter at what was left of my scanty torn dress to try to cover my exposed body against the cold.  I felt naked. Why are you here? Did I know?  Perhaps a part of me still believed I could get a second chance.  Another s...

Outlaw by Ted Dekker My rating: 5 of 5 stars Once again I am astonished by Ted Dekker. Outlaw has got to be one of his best works to date, as I really fell in love with this story. Enlaced with riveting danger, intriguing characters, and such a compelling message that once again opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at life, Outlaw is truly unique from all of Ted's other stories. Although still remaining true to his style and trademark of a story captivated by emotion, love and truths, Ted created something different this time. Many of his stories including "The Sanctuary" and many of his other masterpieces, usually have a "hero-saves-beloved-at-all-costs" plot and defeats the adversary. However, in the face of death and danger, the hero has to reject this natural instinct and instead, offer love and grace to the enemy. It is a story of intense forgiveness, but also a realization of one's identity to even make this possible. It calls ...

     So my last blog post was about making decisions, because we all go through times in our lives that require us to make some big time decisions.  Especially if they could alter our futures. Life is a story where we embark on a journey.  One foot in front of the other and having barely a clue where we are going.  Surrounded by elements and influencing factors beyond our control that try to toss and turn us like a ship at sea.  I could say that lately my future and purpose has been quite heavily laid on my mind, and I like to think that I know exactly what I want to do with my life, but honestly maybe its not about that.      As a person with dreams, goals, and ambitions, my future is very important to me.  I don't take it very well to think that maybe my life won't end up how I would want it to.  I don't like being not in control.  I naturally pursue freedom and independence to claim my own life and call it my own. ...

“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.”        That struck a chord in my chest.   I am usually the type of person who is really indecisive.   Give me the choice in any situation and I’ll be torn between the crossroads.   Imagine my dilemma in this time of my life when decisions are at every corner!   When I am torn between choices, it is usually because I want to make sure I make the best choice, right?   But really, I think it is because I am afraid.   The fear of making decisions: it is not too uncommon actually.   I don’t want to choose wrong and screw everything up.   Then the consequences would obviously be on my head for my stupidity.   My reputation is at risk, people!   Oh, what a terrifying thought... sound familiar?      I hear a lot of good people say, “Everything I do is for others.”   I could say I am one of those people t...